How one woman's painful journey became a mission to help others find healing, identity, and purpose in God.
I have always believed in a God that was bigger than this world and I always wanted to please Him even when I had no idea who He was. Being raised in a big Catholic family who went to church every week, I was in awe of this God who didn't really seem interested in us much. He was holy and we were not. As a very young girl, I begged my parents to wake me up early before school so I could attend mass at 6:30 am. I loved being in His house. I suppose I was seeking Him. Finally, in 1985 when I was 21 years old, I read a book on a plane by a Christian missionary who carried a cross throughout the world preaching about Jesus. It was then that I asked Jesus into my heart. He flooded my soul and I was never the same. Everything was new.
I eventually became part of a local church that preached the complete gospel and I even went to Bible school to learn God's Word. However, I carried with me old patterns of toxic, fear-driven legalistic thinking and behaviors ruled by self-preservation, that didn't seem to go away just because I went to church, went to Bible school, read my Bible, prayed, volunteered, and carried on many church activities. Eventually I married a wonderful and stable Christian man and we had a miracle baby girl who is the love of our lives. Unfortunately, we were unable to grow our family any more, which sent me into depression. The only dream I could distinguish that truly mattered to me was denied. That was what brought me into the world of recovery, which I am forever grateful.
“I simply could not wear my Christianity on top of the turmoil within. When I stepped into reality, I had to face the truth and accept my own responsibility for my poor behavior.”
— Sharon Coletta
In recovery I received so much revelation of my own toxic thinking and experiences, while the Holy Spirit poured His love into my soul. So much clarity and understanding came as I took the journey, through much tears and grueling honesty. I wanted to please at all times, so that I could somehow make people love me. But in recovery I learned that I was powerless to please someone who cannot or will not be pleased.
This helped me understand that any time I am in a loveless relationship, where love is unavailable to me, I have no power to control another person's love. My love must come from the One who made me. That revelation brought so much freedom. Although my fear of rejection kept me in a place of fear and people-pleasing, my trust in my Heavenly Father keeps me in a place of peace, wholeness, and even joy.
Once the truth was unveiled, I began growing in confidence based on the fact that my loving Father has not left me to figure out life on my own. As I yield to Him and face truth and reality, He leads me into a place of security where I am complete in Him. I no longer have to live in fear and survival — I now grow in authentic relationship with God and people.
Jesus' love for me is beyond anything I would have ever guessed I could experience. His presence in my life grows day by day and the joy I now have in the midst of very painful and potentially debilitating circumstances is shocking. My day is a constant yielding and laying down the self-effort I struggled with for years. When I was led outwardly — reacting to circumstances and people instead of being led inwardly by the Holy Spirit — I could not understand my own heart.
As I healed, I was honored to lead recovery groups and work with young teenagers in a local shelter — only to find that these precious people are my heroes. They chose the difficult and courageous journey of healing that I took. What an incredible generation of men and women, raised in chaos and brokenness, who do the seemingly impossible and find love, joy, and purpose in God.
The determination of this generation to be free from rejection, abuse, abandonment, and brokenness — as well as the dark self-destruction that comes from such life experiences — is breathtaking. By releasing and grieving as a discipline in our lives, our souls become detangled and disengaged from the pain and unforgiveness that tried to dominate and wrap itself around us.
I see a generation, young and old, that is rebuilding the old ruins, repairing the ruined cities of many generations, and becoming trees of righteousness (Isaiah 61:3-4). This is why Made for His Glory exists.
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me... to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives.”
— Isaiah 61:1
Whatever you've been through, whatever you're carrying right now — God wants to meet you there and write something beautiful with your life.